Ben's first cold :(

This Friday, poor Benjamin had his very first illness in his entire life - a cold.

We felt just as bad as he did, since there really wasn't much we could give him except Baby Tylenol, our congestion removal assistance (with one of those sucker bulb things) and most of all, lots of comforting.

Probably the worst part of it, aside from the general discomfort, was that his favorite self-soothing technique - sucking the ring and middle fingers of his left hand - rendered him unable to breathe due to his nasal congestion. This meant that we had to keep going into his room to unclog, rock, and relax him so he could go back to sleep. He's still too young to use Vicks VapoRub, so I put some Eucalyptus oil drops on a mini-terry cloth clutch blanket for him. He loved it and instinctively cuddled it close to his face as he turned on his side to go to sleep. But aside from those things, there was really nothing else we could do.

Since I became a mother, I've been dreading Ben's first sickness in the back of my mind. It's one of the favorite complaints of the Doom & Gloom anxiety-mongering crowd: "Just you wait until your child is up all night sick!" I suppose since I hadn't yet experienced taking care of a sick child, it was one of those "fear of the unfamiliar" things.

I was pleasantly surprised. I actually loved being there for our little guy. He really needed us, moreso than usual, and it gave me a lot of satisfaction to be able to make it all better for him. Even in the middle of the night, to be able to pick him up and hug him (one of my favorite things in the whole wide world), sing to him, comfort him, and kiss his little tears away - what an incredibly heady feeling. I just adore rocking with him as he falls asleep on my shoulder, a cute little cuddly dead weight, breathing and sighing contentedly. It's weird - I always thought it would be a drag to be so needed, but it really makes me feel incredible.

When I was moving toward feeling ready to try to have children (a very difficult and heartwrenching process that took the better part of 4 years), one of the things I could imagine really enjoying was teaching, playing, and interacting with a child when s/he was older, at least 4 or 5. What surprises me so much about being a mother is just how much I'm enjoying his babyhood, right now, before he's even walking or talking or able to really interact with us.

Amazing. I just love it.