So there are these really great inventions called nursing covers. They're basically a swatch of good-quality fabric that ties around your neck so you can feel more comfortable adjusting yourself in public while nursing. I personally wanted one because the logistics of getting comfortably set up to nurse Ben while trying to remain modest were, to say the least, challenging.
There are some things I just don't get, though.
One of the companies that makes these things is - are you ready for this? - actually called Hooter Hiders. I'm not making this s#!t up. Go to their site if you don't believe me. I think there's another one called "Milky Juggs".
???!!! Umm, helloooo? You're not marketing these things to beer-drinking straight men in bars, people. These are women, mothers, with taste, with bodies they actively use and have used for nurturing and creating life. How do you stay in business?!!
Not only are some of the names problematic, but they erroneously market "hip, chic" styles. Most of the fabrics look like color and pattern arguments: paisleys and plaid painfully combined, reds and pinks in serious conflict with eachother, polka dots in ridiculous 70's colors. Maybe I'm boring, but can we just have a navy blue one? Maybe a nice black with stripes? Why does it have to look like a bagpiper had a fight with a drag queen near a sewing machine?
When I decided I wanted one, since Ben is getting bigger and thus easier to hold to nurse without a nursing pillow, I refused to buy the Hooter Hider - or the "Milky Juggs" one, either, thank you very much - for obvious reasons.
So I ordered a nice one from this site.
The thing is, when I got it in the mail, there was a Bible verse sticker on the back. I thought it was odd, and said, "what the hell?" and dismissed it. But then I opened up the cellophane (which I have to admit was beautifully and neatly folded, with a bow around it) and one of those Jesus pamphlets fell out. It was cleverly folded in with the fabric, concealed in the cellophane package.
All religious ideologies aside, I thought this was inappropriate and unprofessional. I mean, is a personal business really the platform for evangelism? I don't go inserting Buddhist and Unitarian paraphernalia into my resumes or CD's, but then those religions are non-proselytizing.
But I digress.
So I was ready to send it back to them, or at the very least send their pamphlet back with a nice note saying, "I'm sorry, this got into my package by mistake...." ....but....
It's a really, really nice nursing cover - 300 thread count, excellently sewn and constructed. It came quickly and correctly addressed, and I love it. As taken aback as I was by the religious in-your-faceness, I checked the "about" section of their website, and they're very upfront about their convictions. I had to give them that. I had missed it when I had initially placed the order, but at least they weren't trying to be sneaky about it. They're at least honest.
For some reason, this made all the difference for me, that it wasn't an ambush - just an expression of their well-meaning beliefs. I thought about the motives of the women who sent it - they're Southern Baptists - and knew in my heart that they didn't mean any harm. I don't share their ideology, but that's certainly not something to get one's panties in a wad about. And they donate 20% of their profits to humanitarian relief efforts, which is really nice.
And now I have a really, really nice nursing cover, made of nice fabric that, while it might not be my first fashion choice, at least does not make the statement "I am blind, and therefore cannot assume responsibility for this atrocious pattern" or "Help! I've fallen into a 70's color scheme and I can't get up!"
Heretically speaking, I have to say I got a tremendous kick out of the Jesus pamphlet. It was a "Love Letter from God", which was a whole bunch of Bible verses strung together in what could not have been larger than 4 point font. To my delight, it included hysterical phrases like "He's the Father you've always wanted!" and was signed, "Your Dad, the Almighty". I don't know why, but that made me chortle.
Oh, this is rich!! I found an online version!! I love the sparkly things in the background near Jesus's face. Classic!!
Yes, I know straight where I'm going - I've already put in my reservation for a luxury handbasket. And that's okay. I'm more aligned with Ghandi and Buddha anyway, and according to the rules, they'll be there waiting for me. :)
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4 comments:
I'm always amused at the likeness chosen for Jesus. In the case of the link you posted, he's got dark hair, and bright blue eyes. I've seen others with blonde hair and blue eyes. If we were to take his heritage into consideration (and even something like the Veronica's Veil image), he'd look a whole lot different.
At least you got a good hooter-hider out of the deal. :)
I say write to the Hooter Hider and Milky Juggs people and state your convictions - that you refused to buy products from them because of the horrible names.
However - I can bet that the reason they do it is because they figure husbands would be more like to expect their "woman" to "cover up" and not show off for any men in the near vicinity, and therefore might be their primary customer - men who buy them for their wives as gifts.
Ottavina: Yes, I love the Anglification of Jesus's image in much of western religious media. If they made him look like his middle-eastern heritage, Republican right-wingers would have a harder time nuking Iraqis.
Eric: That men would buy a Hooter Hider for their wives is certainly a very interesting premise! I hadn't thought about that.
I forgot to add to this blog post that yet another reason for getting the cover is for traveling and nursing in the car. I had about had it with the truck stops and the rednecks pulling up close to the car, sitting there right next to our car, not checking a map or talking on a cell phone or anything. At one point Ben noticed and smiled at one of the cretins that was ogling me, and David thought that was hilarious. :S
You are so truly hilarious! Yeah, those patterns are scary. The site has such a classy look, too. You have to wonder what they were thinking. It's kind of like the Hooters restaurant--"great family dining." Huh?
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