In praise of the Cesarean

From the moment we started studying eagerly for our Big Delivery in our childbirth classes, it was made quite clear from the beginning that the non-surgical exit strategy (yes, I'm avoiding the V-word) was The Holy Grail of Birth Experiences. I read horrifyingly dismal statistics about Cesarean recipients having higher rates of postpartum depression, citing feelings of failure as a mother and being "cheated" out of a "natural" birth experience as contributing factors. I read message boards online where women urged other expectant moms to resist doctors/surgeons/OBs who advised them to get a c-section. Some women even bragged about how they completely obliterated their entire pelvic region, broke their tailbones, and popped veins in their necks while delivering "naturally", often while unmedicated - triumphant about their gladiator-like endurance in the name of Doing It The Right Way.

Forgive me for not being impressed, but...can you say OWWWW?

Anyway, like the good childbirth class graduate that I was, I finished my third trimester with the intention of getting Benny out myself rather than having a surgeon do it, but as it turns out, guess what? Things didn't happen that way. As for me being ready for labor, Fort Knox would have been more yielding and open than my body was. The doctors who examined me said that it would most likely literally take days before labor would start.

Yeah, that's what I said, too. (Good thing I had a private room.)

Ultimately, as it should be, the deciding factor was the safety of our son. During induction, his heart rate would dip every time I had the tiniest, barely noticeable contraction (I've had sneezes that felt more intense than these stupid things). Clearly he was not responding well to even the slightest labor. My doctor, the OB surgeon, and several residents and nurses all advised a Cesarean.

No depression, no mother-self-esteem issues, no angst, no feelings of being cheated. I was bloody relieved.

And you know what? It was the fastest, most pain-free, relaxing, pleasurable birth experience I could ever have imagined. I never had to endure any labor first, so the most pain I had the entire day was the stupid pitocin IV upon admittance (my veins are very elusive, apparently, and my hand got stuck several times like a pincushion - not fun). The entire process, from the spinal to being sewn back up, took less than an hour. And I just laid back and enjoyed the whole thing, David in scrubs by my side holding my hand behind the sheet, both of us so relaxed and relieved that we knew our son would be okay.

Best of all, because I wasn't distracted by my own pain, I was able to really bask in the moment of our son's birth and listen for his first cries - truly one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard - and really savor the beauty and miracle that had just taken place.

This is not to say that this wouldn't or couldn't happen to V-birthing moms. But it did happen to me, a Cesarean mom. And I would do it again. Happily. Yes, there was a lot of pain (and related profanity) endured the next several days recovering in the hospital, but it was purely physical. I didn't have to worry about compounding the pain of labor with worrying about it endangering the life of my child. That would have been much worse. And as it turns out, it could have been, deadly, in fact, had we tried to push him out, because his umbilical cord was wrapped - tightly, and twice - around his poor little neck as he was scooped out.

So yes, there was definitely pain in recovery, but I'll tell you this: my nether regions weren't blown to smithereens like in some of the gruesome birthing stories I've heard from some V-birth moms (I was very freaked out about this unpleasant but likely possibility). I got to spend extra time in the hospital, which was amazing - the nurses and doctors were wonderful teachers who spent lots of time with us, and we felt superbly taken care of. And the fact that I had such a positive birth experience put me in such a relaxed and happy state of mind that I instantly bonded with Benjamin. It was definitely love at first sight. The entire time in the hospital, even through the pain, I was overwhelmed with how blissed out I was to be a mother to such a perfect little boy. I can't help but think that avoiding labor - for me, anyway - contributed to my ability to achieve this mindset.

Will I try a V-birth next time? Yes. But if my doctor and OB suggest a Cesarean for the health and safety of our second child, I'll jump at the chance. I just wish women weren't so judgmental of eachother for which birthing way is "the best", with the V-birth moms touting superiority over c-sectioners, which happens more often than you think. After all, creating a baby is one of the most incredible, breathtaking miracles in the entire universe. How that baby makes his or her entrance is comparatively irrelevant to that joy.

So, for that matter, is how a mother decides to nourish her child - yet another subject that elicits ridiculously heated controversy and closed-minded opinions that the well-intentioned foist unabashedly upon new mothers. But that's another post entirely...