Ballerinas vs. Sumo Wrestlers

I think it's telling that my last post to this public blog was all the way back in August, for crying out loud. I have been writing a ton in my private blog, but somehow knowing that the entire googleable population could find and read this blog online was really cramping my style.

So I changed the name of this blog and its website url, which is now http://lacornistefolle.blogspot.com/ (french for "The crazy horn player"), and removed my name from the information on the blog. So now it no longer shows up on google under my name, and I think this will help me feel like I can write just a little bit more in this blog. Perhaps you will feel more comfortable posting comments on it now, too! :) Something about every ex I've ever had (and given my relatively "rich" past, there are a few real zingers out there) reading about my pregnancy and other life details wasn't very appealing and was definitely stunting my creativity! So, a few substantial privacy/security changes to this blog, and....phew! I feel better already. :)

I am currently in week 32 of my pregnancy. The third is is definitely my least favorite trimester, though given that my first 6 months were relatively smooth I suppose I shouldn't complain given what I've heard from so many women. I am feeling quite out of balance and unwieldy (strange, given that I wasn't particularly lithe and graceful before) and very fatigued, much moreso than I did in the first trimester where most women feel the most tired.

And I still have two months to go, during which I'm quite sure I'll get even bigger. After a lifetime of battling my body and dieting, I have to keep reminding myself that my belly is supposed to be getting bigger, and that it's not only okay but necessary in this case. I suppose I could consider this body image therapy?!

Again, though, I really should not complain. My blood pressure and blood sugar are both completely normal still, which I am eternally (and not complacently) grateful for, and our little guy's measurements, fetal movements, growth rate, and heartbeat are all perfect. He is definitely more insistent (and apparent) these days in his kicks and nudges, though for the most part he remains very quiet and still whenever I am on stage playing. I say "for the most part" because during the Higdon Percussion Concerto cadenza, which was sort of a fusion of a marching band drum cadence and a vigorous jazz drum solo, he went absolutely berzerk. I was alarmed because I was sitting quietly on stage and feeling this entirely separate percussion section going on inside my belly! I had to smile and remind myself that I was the only one aware it was happening along with the drum solo. Because of his history of being quiet and still during music most of the time, I'm not quite sure what to make of this percussion-inspired outburst. Did he love it? Was he dancing to it? Or did he absolutely hate it?

I suppose we'll find out when it comes time for him to choose an instrument. :)

Playing the horn, despite my decreased lung capacity due to my ever-expanding womb, continues to go well. I just have to breathe, and expel excess breath that I don't have room for, more often to prevent from hyperventilating and passing out. (Small details, right?) Fortunately I am sleeping marvelously and deeply and have been throughout the pregnancy. According to all the people that love to remind me of it, I am enjoying the sleep while I can, thank you. *smirk*

The past few weeks at work were quite intense. I was filling in for the Associate Principal Horn, who was on vacation/leave, and I played Principal on two of the more horn-scary Beethoven Symphonies, Nos. 2 and 4. They both have Principal Horn parts that are high, treacherous, and very easily glitched. Fortunately all four performances (two for each Symphony) went very well, and I was hugely relieved when they were over. I love my triple horn for high, delicate parts like that!

In addition to playing Principal, I also had to cover my own position as 3rd horn for the heavier pieces on the 2nd half of each program. This included playing Tchaikovsky's 4th after having played Principal on Beethoven's 2nd; and playing Howard Hanson's Symphony No. 2 after having played Principal on Beethoven's 4th. The position of 3rd horn is kind of like the weight lifting/sumo wrestler position in the horn section; you have to play high like the Principal, but you don't have an assistant like the Principal horn does. The Principal, on the other hand, has to be acrobatic and flexible like a ballerina, which is why s/he has an assistant to help out with the loud stuff so s/he can "save face" for the delicate playing.

I found it very difficult to alternate between being a ballerina and a sumo wrestler for two entire weeks; the concerts were okay, but the rehearsals often had the heavy stuff first, making my lip stiff and tired before having to play the high delicate stuff. I discovered that using an ice pack helped reduce the swelling immensely. One morning I pulled up at a stop light on my way to work with the blue drugstore ice bag on my face, and a woman next to me in the next lane looked at me in horror, as though I had been a victim of domestic violence. I didn't think she'd understand if I rolled down my window and yelled, "No, it's not my husband, it's Tchaikovsky that's slugging me in the face!!"

Anyway, I am glad that's over, and that I can get back to just being a weight lifter, which is in many ways what I do best.

Wow, it sure is good to be back...expect more frequent updates now that I don't have to worry so much about privacy and censorship! :)