Forget that the news idiots mistakenly label her as a member of the orchestra; she was in the orchestra chorus. This is so maddening I am seeing red....
New Information in Orchestra Member's Death
Melanie Stout
Katie DeLong
MILWAUKEE - Shocking new information in the murder of a member of the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra. The new information comes from the restraining order the victim filed against her ex-husband three years ago. He's accused of stabbing Elisabeth Witte to death in a downtown Milwaukee parking garage over the weekend.
Police arrested Witte's ex-husband, Gerhard Witte, for her murder, however, he has not yet been charged.Elisabeth Witte tried to protect herself from her ex-husband. In 2005, she filed a restraining order several months after she filed for divorce. Police reports show Gerhard Witte told officers he: "...considers his wife no more than an intruder who intends to steal his property." He also said, "he will kill his estranged wife and then himself if she does not drop the divorce action, return to live with him and meet various other demands."
The reports also say Ms. Witte was so fearful her ex-husband would kill her that she fled to Germany.
The reports state officers questioned Gerhard Witte and "when asked if he had any firearms, Witte stated he will not use a gun. Witte stated he is a medical doctor and he knows precisely where to cut someone, and gave an example of the abdomen."
Three years later, it happened. Elisabeth Witte was stabbed to death in a parking structure. Police say Gerhard Witte was standing over her body. A knife was nearby.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Tragedy at the MSO
A wonderful, brilliant, talented woman that I knew, who sang with the MSO chorus, was brutally stabbed to death in the parking garage across from the Marcus Center.
I knew her. I loved her.
She was tall, vibrant, extremely friendly and outgoing, and so full of energy. She was the librarian for the MSO chorus. She was so sweet to me; we talked often backstage whenever the chorus was performing with us.
The last time I saw her, I showed her a small album of pictures of Benjamin, and she exclaimed over them. I loved talking to her. She had the most lovely German accent.
Apparently her ex-husband, against whom she had filed a restraining order, had tracked her down and found her in the parking structure. It is being considered an act of domestic violence and not related to downtown area crime per se. He has admitted to the crime.
It's amazing, because I would never have guessed that she had such a past. She seemed so strong. I suppose she had to be to leave an abusive situation (she left him in 2005). She was 65.
This is the first person I know who has been murdered. I am stunned and saddened. I wish I had somehow known to warn her, to look out for her, to protect her.
She had just performed the Bach Mass in B Minor with the MSO. How incredibly heartwrenching that that was her last performance, the last time her voice would ever be heard on this earth.
I knew her. I loved her.
She was tall, vibrant, extremely friendly and outgoing, and so full of energy. She was the librarian for the MSO chorus. She was so sweet to me; we talked often backstage whenever the chorus was performing with us.
The last time I saw her, I showed her a small album of pictures of Benjamin, and she exclaimed over them. I loved talking to her. She had the most lovely German accent.
Apparently her ex-husband, against whom she had filed a restraining order, had tracked her down and found her in the parking structure. It is being considered an act of domestic violence and not related to downtown area crime per se. He has admitted to the crime.
It's amazing, because I would never have guessed that she had such a past. She seemed so strong. I suppose she had to be to leave an abusive situation (she left him in 2005). She was 65.
This is the first person I know who has been murdered. I am stunned and saddened. I wish I had somehow known to warn her, to look out for her, to protect her.
She had just performed the Bach Mass in B Minor with the MSO. How incredibly heartwrenching that that was her last performance, the last time her voice would ever be heard on this earth.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Oh, DROOL!!
That's supposed to be one of the first signs of teething. We have the motherlode of drool in our house now, and Ben is its fountain. Gnawing and refusal to nurse are other symptoms. We've got that action going on too.
And our previously amazing little sleeper, who was sleeping 12 consecutive hours at night, has now been waking at around midnight, screaming bloody murder. To be fair, last night he was actually really hungry - I think because he hadn't eaten well before bed because of his gummy woes.
So tonight I loaded him up with solid foods, since eating with a spoon doesn't seem to bother him as much as sucking. He's getting really good at it, too (as opposed to his first experiences eating from a spoon, where he looked like a bowl of porridge had exploded all over him). He's an alarmingly wonderful eater. Tonight he mowed through half a container of bananas, half a container of prunes (which, hilariously, he loved), a full tablespoon of single grain oatmeal mixed with breastmilk, and 5 ounces of mixed formula & breastmilk. (We're officially supplementing now.)
And after I cleaned him up, burped and changed him, he wanted to nurse!!
So now begins a new era - teething rings, frozen washcloths, and miscellaneous plastic objects for him to chew on. I assembled his high chair, and he loves it - it's much easier to feed him solids in it than his Bumbo. I'm going shopping tomorrow for some more formula, rice cereal, and baby food. I might try him on some more single veggies - so far he's just had squash, which, like his mother, he's not all that enthused about. ;)
And our previously amazing little sleeper, who was sleeping 12 consecutive hours at night, has now been waking at around midnight, screaming bloody murder. To be fair, last night he was actually really hungry - I think because he hadn't eaten well before bed because of his gummy woes.
So tonight I loaded him up with solid foods, since eating with a spoon doesn't seem to bother him as much as sucking. He's getting really good at it, too (as opposed to his first experiences eating from a spoon, where he looked like a bowl of porridge had exploded all over him). He's an alarmingly wonderful eater. Tonight he mowed through half a container of bananas, half a container of prunes (which, hilariously, he loved), a full tablespoon of single grain oatmeal mixed with breastmilk, and 5 ounces of mixed formula & breastmilk. (We're officially supplementing now.)
And after I cleaned him up, burped and changed him, he wanted to nurse!!
So now begins a new era - teething rings, frozen washcloths, and miscellaneous plastic objects for him to chew on. I assembled his high chair, and he loves it - it's much easier to feed him solids in it than his Bumbo. I'm going shopping tomorrow for some more formula, rice cereal, and baby food. I might try him on some more single veggies - so far he's just had squash, which, like his mother, he's not all that enthused about. ;)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Stop the world, I wanna get off...or do I?
Do you ever have one of those days where you just can't stop? As in, you have the TV news channel ticker at the bottom of your conscious mind that is telling you everything that needs to be done, and everything on the list seems completely urgent and in need of doing RIGHT NOW?
What's so strange is that I actually have the healthy, good-for-me thoughts in my brain: "Today I should do yoga...I should sit on the meditation cushion...today I should just go out, just for the sake of going out of the house, but not to run errands. I'll just go to a coffee shop and read."
I had all of those good intentions yesterday. Really. I had the day off. I had time. I could have relaxed, done some really good healing things for myself. We just got home from a tour this weekend to Wisconsin Rapids and Green Bay. I had earned some R and R.
You wanna know what I did instead?
I went to three - yes, three - different home supply warehouses to price patio tables. (Target had the least expensive, Lowes the best quality...but that's beside the point.) I raided the garden center at one of the aforementioned home supply warehouses and bought tons of annuals, potting soil, and ivy. I stopped by one of my favorite clothing stores and stocked up on high-quality tunic-style t-shirts.
Then I came home, took care of some work-related phone calls and email, went through a whole bunch of paperwork, fed Ben at least 3 times, took the baby monitor outside on the front porch and planted two giant pots of red geraniums with variegated vinca ivy trim in front, two hanging pots of cascading wave white petunias, and a smaller pot of red and gold marigolds. I hooked up a new hose and watered them all and cleaned up. I emptied, reloaded, ran, and re-emptied the dishwasher. I put away the dishrack dishes. I did two loads of laundry. I organized the utility closet. I cooked and ate dinner.
I then proceeded to straighten the entire house, picking everything up off the floor and clearing tables so the cleaning team that comes can actually get to the surfaces they need to clean.
I didn't get into bed until nearly 1am, and it was absolutely not Ben's fault. And ha! Even though I was in bed, I still thought, "oh man, I need to get some reading done for my church study group on Wed. night" and went on to read a chapter to check that too off my Cinderellafied to-do list.
So I want to ask you...do you ever have these binges of productivity when you think perhaps you might want to slow down a bit? I actually don't mind so much, except when the constant tickertape of my brain can't stop for days on end. My house looks great, and so does my front porch...but sheesh. Why is it so hard to slow down and just have a cup of coffee forgodsakes?
Whoa, I have to log off this thing and go to work. I have a concert at 10!
What's so strange is that I actually have the healthy, good-for-me thoughts in my brain: "Today I should do yoga...I should sit on the meditation cushion...today I should just go out, just for the sake of going out of the house, but not to run errands. I'll just go to a coffee shop and read."
I had all of those good intentions yesterday. Really. I had the day off. I had time. I could have relaxed, done some really good healing things for myself. We just got home from a tour this weekend to Wisconsin Rapids and Green Bay. I had earned some R and R.
You wanna know what I did instead?
I went to three - yes, three - different home supply warehouses to price patio tables. (Target had the least expensive, Lowes the best quality...but that's beside the point.) I raided the garden center at one of the aforementioned home supply warehouses and bought tons of annuals, potting soil, and ivy. I stopped by one of my favorite clothing stores and stocked up on high-quality tunic-style t-shirts.
Then I came home, took care of some work-related phone calls and email, went through a whole bunch of paperwork, fed Ben at least 3 times, took the baby monitor outside on the front porch and planted two giant pots of red geraniums with variegated vinca ivy trim in front, two hanging pots of cascading wave white petunias, and a smaller pot of red and gold marigolds. I hooked up a new hose and watered them all and cleaned up. I emptied, reloaded, ran, and re-emptied the dishwasher. I put away the dishrack dishes. I did two loads of laundry. I organized the utility closet. I cooked and ate dinner.
I then proceeded to straighten the entire house, picking everything up off the floor and clearing tables so the cleaning team that comes can actually get to the surfaces they need to clean.
I didn't get into bed until nearly 1am, and it was absolutely not Ben's fault. And ha! Even though I was in bed, I still thought, "oh man, I need to get some reading done for my church study group on Wed. night" and went on to read a chapter to check that too off my Cinderellafied to-do list.
So I want to ask you...do you ever have these binges of productivity when you think perhaps you might want to slow down a bit? I actually don't mind so much, except when the constant tickertape of my brain can't stop for days on end. My house looks great, and so does my front porch...but sheesh. Why is it so hard to slow down and just have a cup of coffee forgodsakes?
Whoa, I have to log off this thing and go to work. I have a concert at 10!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
NPR Commentary: Why I love Hillary
I heard this AWESOME editorial on NPR yesterday, and I just had to share it. It completely sums up why I was so excited that Hillary was in the game, and is a very accurate portrayal of the female experience in this country - from my vantage point, anyway. It reminded me of one summer wedding I attended, where someone asked me, "You didn't bring a date?! When are you getting married?" after I'd just gotten home from going on tour to Europe with one of the biggest and best orchestras in the world and had found out I was going to solo with one of the orchestras I was contracted with. But none of that mattered.
So when I heard this commentary on the radio, I was saying "Amen, sistah!" in my kitchen as I prepared dinner. I couldn't have said it better myself!! (I suppose that's why she's the writer and I'm the musician....)
****************
Commentary
Why I Love Hillary
by Susan Cheever
Listen Now [2 min 32 sec] add to playlist
All Things Considered, May 14, 2008 · Why is it that the more Hillary loses, the better I like her? (Yes, I know she won last night but that's already being dismissed.) She's glowing with the inner fire of the warrior in a battle she can't win without a miracle — why do I identify with that so much? Why do I feel after forty years of voting, that at last for once, there is a politician who truly represents me and not just because she wears pansuits?
When I tell a handsome man at a party that I support Hillary, he looks my black pantsuit up and down. "That figures, you're an older woman," he says. I am hurt, but he is right. Woman get their power from their looks and Hillary has worn away her youth in the service of a difficult husband, a smart child and the ideal of service. She was never the pretty, simpering, long-legged blonde we were all supposed to be; she had to find another way to be a woman. Me too.
"I love her because she is a loser, and I'm a loser," I tell my brother.
"But Sue, you are a big success," he says.
Hillary's a success too, but she's a worker, and women don't get respect for being hard workers, they get respect for having good legs. She's a woman dedicated to social justice, but women don't get respect for their dedication — they get it for their baking skills. She's a woman with staying power. But women don't get respect for their staying power, they get respect for their sexual power.
My generation of women were told that our biggest job was to marry the right guy — and the sooner the better. When I went for career counseling my last year of college, the dean gave me her condolences.
"All our best girls are engaged," she said. Oh yes, it sounds outrageously antique, but is it? I never talk for long about my 26-year-old daughter, a lawyer and an activist at Harvard, without someone asking: "And is she seeing someone?"
Women like me usually run for president of the PTA or president of some nice arts organization. We don't usually get to run for president of the United States. At last here's a woman who wants to play with the big boys, and she's qualified, and she's giving them a run for her money. And I love her for that.
Susan Cheever is a writer who lives in New York City.
So when I heard this commentary on the radio, I was saying "Amen, sistah!" in my kitchen as I prepared dinner. I couldn't have said it better myself!! (I suppose that's why she's the writer and I'm the musician....)
****************
Commentary
Why I Love Hillary
by Susan Cheever
Listen Now [2 min 32 sec] add to playlist
All Things Considered, May 14, 2008 · Why is it that the more Hillary loses, the better I like her? (Yes, I know she won last night but that's already being dismissed.) She's glowing with the inner fire of the warrior in a battle she can't win without a miracle — why do I identify with that so much? Why do I feel after forty years of voting, that at last for once, there is a politician who truly represents me and not just because she wears pansuits?
When I tell a handsome man at a party that I support Hillary, he looks my black pantsuit up and down. "That figures, you're an older woman," he says. I am hurt, but he is right. Woman get their power from their looks and Hillary has worn away her youth in the service of a difficult husband, a smart child and the ideal of service. She was never the pretty, simpering, long-legged blonde we were all supposed to be; she had to find another way to be a woman. Me too.
"I love her because she is a loser, and I'm a loser," I tell my brother.
"But Sue, you are a big success," he says.
Hillary's a success too, but she's a worker, and women don't get respect for being hard workers, they get respect for having good legs. She's a woman dedicated to social justice, but women don't get respect for their dedication — they get it for their baking skills. She's a woman with staying power. But women don't get respect for their staying power, they get respect for their sexual power.
My generation of women were told that our biggest job was to marry the right guy — and the sooner the better. When I went for career counseling my last year of college, the dean gave me her condolences.
"All our best girls are engaged," she said. Oh yes, it sounds outrageously antique, but is it? I never talk for long about my 26-year-old daughter, a lawyer and an activist at Harvard, without someone asking: "And is she seeing someone?"
Women like me usually run for president of the PTA or president of some nice arts organization. We don't usually get to run for president of the United States. At last here's a woman who wants to play with the big boys, and she's qualified, and she's giving them a run for her money. And I love her for that.
Susan Cheever is a writer who lives in New York City.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Nursing cover retailers are WACK!!
So there are these really great inventions called nursing covers. They're basically a swatch of good-quality fabric that ties around your neck so you can feel more comfortable adjusting yourself in public while nursing. I personally wanted one because the logistics of getting comfortably set up to nurse Ben while trying to remain modest were, to say the least, challenging.
There are some things I just don't get, though.
One of the companies that makes these things is - are you ready for this? - actually called Hooter Hiders. I'm not making this s#!t up. Go to their site if you don't believe me. I think there's another one called "Milky Juggs".
???!!! Umm, helloooo? You're not marketing these things to beer-drinking straight men in bars, people. These are women, mothers, with taste, with bodies they actively use and have used for nurturing and creating life. How do you stay in business?!!
Not only are some of the names problematic, but they erroneously market "hip, chic" styles. Most of the fabrics look like color and pattern arguments: paisleys and plaid painfully combined, reds and pinks in serious conflict with eachother, polka dots in ridiculous 70's colors. Maybe I'm boring, but can we just have a navy blue one? Maybe a nice black with stripes? Why does it have to look like a bagpiper had a fight with a drag queen near a sewing machine?
When I decided I wanted one, since Ben is getting bigger and thus easier to hold to nurse without a nursing pillow, I refused to buy the Hooter Hider - or the "Milky Juggs" one, either, thank you very much - for obvious reasons.
So I ordered a nice one from this site.
The thing is, when I got it in the mail, there was a Bible verse sticker on the back. I thought it was odd, and said, "what the hell?" and dismissed it. But then I opened up the cellophane (which I have to admit was beautifully and neatly folded, with a bow around it) and one of those Jesus pamphlets fell out. It was cleverly folded in with the fabric, concealed in the cellophane package.
All religious ideologies aside, I thought this was inappropriate and unprofessional. I mean, is a personal business really the platform for evangelism? I don't go inserting Buddhist and Unitarian paraphernalia into my resumes or CD's, but then those religions are non-proselytizing.
But I digress.
So I was ready to send it back to them, or at the very least send their pamphlet back with a nice note saying, "I'm sorry, this got into my package by mistake...." ....but....
It's a really, really nice nursing cover - 300 thread count, excellently sewn and constructed. It came quickly and correctly addressed, and I love it. As taken aback as I was by the religious in-your-faceness, I checked the "about" section of their website, and they're very upfront about their convictions. I had to give them that. I had missed it when I had initially placed the order, but at least they weren't trying to be sneaky about it. They're at least honest.
For some reason, this made all the difference for me, that it wasn't an ambush - just an expression of their well-meaning beliefs. I thought about the motives of the women who sent it - they're Southern Baptists - and knew in my heart that they didn't mean any harm. I don't share their ideology, but that's certainly not something to get one's panties in a wad about. And they donate 20% of their profits to humanitarian relief efforts, which is really nice.
And now I have a really, really nice nursing cover, made of nice fabric that, while it might not be my first fashion choice, at least does not make the statement "I am blind, and therefore cannot assume responsibility for this atrocious pattern" or "Help! I've fallen into a 70's color scheme and I can't get up!"
Heretically speaking, I have to say I got a tremendous kick out of the Jesus pamphlet. It was a "Love Letter from God", which was a whole bunch of Bible verses strung together in what could not have been larger than 4 point font. To my delight, it included hysterical phrases like "He's the Father you've always wanted!" and was signed, "Your Dad, the Almighty". I don't know why, but that made me chortle.
Oh, this is rich!! I found an online version!! I love the sparkly things in the background near Jesus's face. Classic!!
Yes, I know straight where I'm going - I've already put in my reservation for a luxury handbasket. And that's okay. I'm more aligned with Ghandi and Buddha anyway, and according to the rules, they'll be there waiting for me. :)
There are some things I just don't get, though.
One of the companies that makes these things is - are you ready for this? - actually called Hooter Hiders. I'm not making this s#!t up. Go to their site if you don't believe me. I think there's another one called "Milky Juggs".
???!!! Umm, helloooo? You're not marketing these things to beer-drinking straight men in bars, people. These are women, mothers, with taste, with bodies they actively use and have used for nurturing and creating life. How do you stay in business?!!
Not only are some of the names problematic, but they erroneously market "hip, chic" styles. Most of the fabrics look like color and pattern arguments: paisleys and plaid painfully combined, reds and pinks in serious conflict with eachother, polka dots in ridiculous 70's colors. Maybe I'm boring, but can we just have a navy blue one? Maybe a nice black with stripes? Why does it have to look like a bagpiper had a fight with a drag queen near a sewing machine?
When I decided I wanted one, since Ben is getting bigger and thus easier to hold to nurse without a nursing pillow, I refused to buy the Hooter Hider - or the "Milky Juggs" one, either, thank you very much - for obvious reasons.
So I ordered a nice one from this site.
The thing is, when I got it in the mail, there was a Bible verse sticker on the back. I thought it was odd, and said, "what the hell?" and dismissed it. But then I opened up the cellophane (which I have to admit was beautifully and neatly folded, with a bow around it) and one of those Jesus pamphlets fell out. It was cleverly folded in with the fabric, concealed in the cellophane package.
All religious ideologies aside, I thought this was inappropriate and unprofessional. I mean, is a personal business really the platform for evangelism? I don't go inserting Buddhist and Unitarian paraphernalia into my resumes or CD's, but then those religions are non-proselytizing.
But I digress.
So I was ready to send it back to them, or at the very least send their pamphlet back with a nice note saying, "I'm sorry, this got into my package by mistake...." ....but....
It's a really, really nice nursing cover - 300 thread count, excellently sewn and constructed. It came quickly and correctly addressed, and I love it. As taken aback as I was by the religious in-your-faceness, I checked the "about" section of their website, and they're very upfront about their convictions. I had to give them that. I had missed it when I had initially placed the order, but at least they weren't trying to be sneaky about it. They're at least honest.
For some reason, this made all the difference for me, that it wasn't an ambush - just an expression of their well-meaning beliefs. I thought about the motives of the women who sent it - they're Southern Baptists - and knew in my heart that they didn't mean any harm. I don't share their ideology, but that's certainly not something to get one's panties in a wad about. And they donate 20% of their profits to humanitarian relief efforts, which is really nice.
And now I have a really, really nice nursing cover, made of nice fabric that, while it might not be my first fashion choice, at least does not make the statement "I am blind, and therefore cannot assume responsibility for this atrocious pattern" or "Help! I've fallen into a 70's color scheme and I can't get up!"
Heretically speaking, I have to say I got a tremendous kick out of the Jesus pamphlet. It was a "Love Letter from God", which was a whole bunch of Bible verses strung together in what could not have been larger than 4 point font. To my delight, it included hysterical phrases like "He's the Father you've always wanted!" and was signed, "Your Dad, the Almighty". I don't know why, but that made me chortle.
Oh, this is rich!! I found an online version!! I love the sparkly things in the background near Jesus's face. Classic!!
Yes, I know straight where I'm going - I've already put in my reservation for a luxury handbasket. And that's okay. I'm more aligned with Ghandi and Buddha anyway, and according to the rules, they'll be there waiting for me. :)
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Reading my way out of a diaper bag
All those naysayers who said my life as I knew it would end when I had a child can go kiss a moose. I still make time for the things I want to do, but I've actually become more efficient because I have less time to waste. This is good for me, since most of the things I used to waste time doing weren't really all that interesting or good for me anyway.
The writer's strike helped me phase out my "active TV watching" - that is, the shows I'd make time to watch or tape when they were new, as opposed to just flipping through channels. And two of the three shows I was actively watching were phased out anyway (the Bionic Woman and Crossing Jordan). When the few shows I was still remotely involved in finally started back up with their new material, I just wasn't interested anymore. Reading is so much better for my mind, and much less annoying - I am not nearly as tolerant of ads as I once was, especially now that I'm reading more and am accustomed to uninterrupted entertainment and mental engagement. True, there's always the mute button, but then I'm bored and looking for something to do.
Yet another reason I'm not actively seeking out and watching the shows I had been into - CSI, Law & Order, Women's Murder Club? I just can't do the violence and death and suffering implicit in them anymore. It sounds corny, and this is not in any way intended as a judgment against anyone who loves crime drama (I still like reading it, which is somehow different), but now that I'm a mother - now that I've created, nurtured, and borne another human life, with my own body - I just can't deal with death in the same way I used to. I really think that there's something animal that gets triggered in us as a species that's built in to ensure survival, because I can tell you it was immediate and instant once I held Ben for the first time. Now, my empathy for the mothers in the shows is raging out of control, as are the maternal instincts that want to protect every single child on earth from suffering and harm. Stuff from those shows gets into my head, and I start thinking, "Oh my god...what if that happens to Ben? I have to go check on him right now..." and then the insanity begins. I won't do that to myself anymore. It's just too disturbing at this point.
I suppose I could find a new genre of TV watching - say, comedy, or sitcoms. But I am so sick of the same crappy formula. Man is an idiot. Man is also fat pig, and is slob. Man somehow is married to gorgeous, thin, tolerant, supermodel wife. Man, amazingly (given that he is fat, messy, and stupid) takes supermodel wife - who also functions as his full time maid, chef, and clothing consultant - completely for granted. Man treats wife like cave man and is about as communicative. Wife is frustrated with man.
And these situations are portrayed as funny?! ARRRRGH!! I find them trite, unevolved, and, truth be told, quite depressing. If anyone has any suggestions as to good comedy that isn't completely lost in the 50's with regard to gender roles, I'd welcome them. I'm not going all anti-TV prudish; David and I still love watching The Simpsons and Seinfeld together, but that's about it. And at least when I watch things with him, I have someone to talk to or snuggle during the ads. :)
And so, I turn with renewed appreciation to my fiction and non-fiction bibliofriends. I finished Dean Koontz's The Husband, which was a riveting thriller with whiplash-inducing plot twists that were absolutely spinetingling. My brother turned me on to Koontz, who I am delighted to report is a phenomenal writer. Not only does he spin a mean tale, but his imagery and word painting are just so real you feel like you're there. I love a writer who can suck you right into the book like that.
I then picked up Zadie Smith's On Beauty. My friend Jen had turned me on to Zadie a while ago with her debut novel White Teeth, which was very good, but I think On Beauty was even better. Both novels delved deeply and intricately into culture/nationality/race/class clashes, but perhaps because Beauty was set in America and the characters were more believable and sympathetic, I enjoyed it on a deeper level than Teeth.
Recently I have begun Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. While I don't necessarily identify with the author's beliefs or practices, so far I am finding it an enlightening and entertaining glimpse into someone else's spiritual and personal growth journey. Gilbert is hilarious, heartbreaking, insighful, and sometimes annoying (her comedy seems forced and a bit over the top sometimes). But I am having fun reading it so far.
For the Buddhist study and meditation group at my church, we are reading Traleg Kyabgon's The Essence of Buddhism. This is a very good book, but it sometimes keeps the kid gloves on when dealing with difficult issues. I was so annoyed when I read the chapter on karma and rebirth, both of which are probably the top two stickiest subjects Buddhists have to reconcile in their faith. After much turgid definition and explanation, at the very end of the chapter tat addresses both concepts, Kyabgon writes: "...even if rebirth does not exist, we have not lost anything by believing in it, because leading a moral life makes us into better human beings, endowing this life with meaning and significance." I laughed out loud; so what was the whole point of that chapter, then?
Paul Norton of the Milwaukee Mindfulness Center gave a fabulous seminar on Buddhism and meditation at my church at the beginning of April. It was just fantastic. He explained both subjects easily in less than 2 minutes. On karma, he explained that if you do good things and live well, good things will definitely happen but they will be internal, not external. He also said that the literal definition of reincarnation (as in a soul is plucked from one body and then reinserted into another body) is implausible, but rebirth on a figurative level - that we are reborn in every moment, with every breath - is indeed very real. I found his explanations infinitely more helpful than the book. :)
For the Sacred Poetry class, also given at my church, we're reading a lot of Rumi, a Sufi poet who has written some absolutely beautiful (and difficult) poems. We're also reading Mary Oliver's Thirst, which has some of the most deeply poignant and exquisite poems I have ever read. They are so musical in their construction; each one is like a song.
So what are YOU reading these days? You can post a comment anonymously, you know, without having to create a Blogger account...
The writer's strike helped me phase out my "active TV watching" - that is, the shows I'd make time to watch or tape when they were new, as opposed to just flipping through channels. And two of the three shows I was actively watching were phased out anyway (the Bionic Woman and Crossing Jordan). When the few shows I was still remotely involved in finally started back up with their new material, I just wasn't interested anymore. Reading is so much better for my mind, and much less annoying - I am not nearly as tolerant of ads as I once was, especially now that I'm reading more and am accustomed to uninterrupted entertainment and mental engagement. True, there's always the mute button, but then I'm bored and looking for something to do.
Yet another reason I'm not actively seeking out and watching the shows I had been into - CSI, Law & Order, Women's Murder Club? I just can't do the violence and death and suffering implicit in them anymore. It sounds corny, and this is not in any way intended as a judgment against anyone who loves crime drama (I still like reading it, which is somehow different), but now that I'm a mother - now that I've created, nurtured, and borne another human life, with my own body - I just can't deal with death in the same way I used to. I really think that there's something animal that gets triggered in us as a species that's built in to ensure survival, because I can tell you it was immediate and instant once I held Ben for the first time. Now, my empathy for the mothers in the shows is raging out of control, as are the maternal instincts that want to protect every single child on earth from suffering and harm. Stuff from those shows gets into my head, and I start thinking, "Oh my god...what if that happens to Ben? I have to go check on him right now..." and then the insanity begins. I won't do that to myself anymore. It's just too disturbing at this point.
I suppose I could find a new genre of TV watching - say, comedy, or sitcoms. But I am so sick of the same crappy formula. Man is an idiot. Man is also fat pig, and is slob. Man somehow is married to gorgeous, thin, tolerant, supermodel wife. Man, amazingly (given that he is fat, messy, and stupid) takes supermodel wife - who also functions as his full time maid, chef, and clothing consultant - completely for granted. Man treats wife like cave man and is about as communicative. Wife is frustrated with man.
And these situations are portrayed as funny?! ARRRRGH!! I find them trite, unevolved, and, truth be told, quite depressing. If anyone has any suggestions as to good comedy that isn't completely lost in the 50's with regard to gender roles, I'd welcome them. I'm not going all anti-TV prudish; David and I still love watching The Simpsons and Seinfeld together, but that's about it. And at least when I watch things with him, I have someone to talk to or snuggle during the ads. :)
And so, I turn with renewed appreciation to my fiction and non-fiction bibliofriends. I finished Dean Koontz's The Husband, which was a riveting thriller with whiplash-inducing plot twists that were absolutely spinetingling. My brother turned me on to Koontz, who I am delighted to report is a phenomenal writer. Not only does he spin a mean tale, but his imagery and word painting are just so real you feel like you're there. I love a writer who can suck you right into the book like that.
I then picked up Zadie Smith's On Beauty. My friend Jen had turned me on to Zadie a while ago with her debut novel White Teeth, which was very good, but I think On Beauty was even better. Both novels delved deeply and intricately into culture/nationality/race/class clashes, but perhaps because Beauty was set in America and the characters were more believable and sympathetic, I enjoyed it on a deeper level than Teeth.
Recently I have begun Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. While I don't necessarily identify with the author's beliefs or practices, so far I am finding it an enlightening and entertaining glimpse into someone else's spiritual and personal growth journey. Gilbert is hilarious, heartbreaking, insighful, and sometimes annoying (her comedy seems forced and a bit over the top sometimes). But I am having fun reading it so far.
For the Buddhist study and meditation group at my church, we are reading Traleg Kyabgon's The Essence of Buddhism. This is a very good book, but it sometimes keeps the kid gloves on when dealing with difficult issues. I was so annoyed when I read the chapter on karma and rebirth, both of which are probably the top two stickiest subjects Buddhists have to reconcile in their faith. After much turgid definition and explanation, at the very end of the chapter tat addresses both concepts, Kyabgon writes: "...even if rebirth does not exist, we have not lost anything by believing in it, because leading a moral life makes us into better human beings, endowing this life with meaning and significance." I laughed out loud; so what was the whole point of that chapter, then?
Paul Norton of the Milwaukee Mindfulness Center gave a fabulous seminar on Buddhism and meditation at my church at the beginning of April. It was just fantastic. He explained both subjects easily in less than 2 minutes. On karma, he explained that if you do good things and live well, good things will definitely happen but they will be internal, not external. He also said that the literal definition of reincarnation (as in a soul is plucked from one body and then reinserted into another body) is implausible, but rebirth on a figurative level - that we are reborn in every moment, with every breath - is indeed very real. I found his explanations infinitely more helpful than the book. :)
For the Sacred Poetry class, also given at my church, we're reading a lot of Rumi, a Sufi poet who has written some absolutely beautiful (and difficult) poems. We're also reading Mary Oliver's Thirst, which has some of the most deeply poignant and exquisite poems I have ever read. They are so musical in their construction; each one is like a song.
So what are YOU reading these days? You can post a comment anonymously, you know, without having to create a Blogger account...
Sunday, May 04, 2008
What a difference (WARNING: horn nerd post)
Hey there. I'm having a ball practicing these days, for many reasons; but the biggest and best is that I have a new horn!A bit of history: I had bought a Yamaha triple horn in 2004 to blend better with the MSO section (the first brass double horn I'd bought, a Conn 11DRS, was too dark for the section and didn't blend well).
To understand what a triple horn is, you need to know what a descant horn is. A descant horn has much shorter tubing so it's easier to get high notes. A triple horn is basically a regular (double) horn with a descant horn built in; it has three layers of tubing rather than just two, hence the name. The extra third layer of tubing is very small (like a descant's), making it easier to play in the extreme high range with ease and grace. Typically, triple horns are mainly used by high horn players (those in Principal and 3rd horn positions).
To make a long story short, over these past several years of playing the triple - as amazing as it is for some things - I came to realize that I just wasn't comfortable on it for most of what I have to do at work. Don't get me wrong; it's a great horn, and I'll keep it for pieces that require more gossamer flexibility and agility, but for my position as 3rd horn (which requires more brute strength and high range endurance than grace and delicacy), I just don't need it. In fact, the triple was leading me down the scary road to lip fatigue and damage; it was so resistant, the air would back up and cause impact stress to my lip - which was especially painful when I needed to play loudly. That combined with how hard it is for me to get a really big sound on it would, in the long run, be a recipe for disaster and would endanger my playing longevity.
I have to pause for a second here and say that there are more adventurous horn players out there who are enthusiastic about trying new equipment (horns, mouthpieces, mutes, lead pipes, etc.) and who probably would have figured this out sooner. We in the brass world affectionately call them Equipment Nerds. They are your best friends when you're looking for something new, as they enjoy doing the research and probably know what you need. Alas, I am not an Equipment Nerd, and unfortunately lean toward the opposite extreme; I tend to stick to the same horn and mouthpiece for pretty much everything.
So how did I find this new magical horn? I had a student come in with a brand new Yamaha 667D. It's just Yamaha's professional brass double horn - simple, but extremely well made, affordable (since it's from the factory rather than built by hand), beautifully consistent in pitch, and not in the least resistant. Best of all, it has the wonderfully brilliant, bright, and more translucent sound that the MSO horn section is famous for. Anyway, this student wanted me to try out the horn to make sure it was a good one, to give her my blessing as to whether she should buy it or not.
Wow. I almost went through the roof. I told her that if she didn't want to buy it, that I did. (After that endorsement, she bought it. :D)
It's the same old story: you don't realize how you're suffering until you aren't anymore. I hadn't realized how confined I had felt by the resistance and notchiness of the triple until I started singing, really and truly singing, through this more open horn which could take everything I had to give it. I was so ecstatic I called the regional Yamaha dealer and had him order two for me to try so I could buy the "pick of the litter". I bought one at the end of March, and had Wes Hatch put his lead pipe on it for pitch and air flow. Many horn players like to strip the lacquer (protective metal coating) from factory made horns, and I have done it to other horns I've had, but I decided for acoustic reasons to leave it on this particular one. This will also preserve the shininess.
I cannot even begin to tell you how much less stressful work has been since I got this horn (and again, I didn't even really realize it had gotten that way until I made the switch). I have literally had so much fun every time I've performed on it. My endurance has shot through the roof again now that my face isn't pummeled by the air backlash of the resistant triple, and my accuracy has improved immensely since the notes on this horn have larger "shelves" to place them in rather than the smaller notches of the notes on the triple. What a difference!
And on a purely cosmetic note, this horn is absolutely stunningly gorgeous. This isn't really essential but is a nice extra. ;)
Thank you, Hillary....
....you are officially making it easier for me to envision voting for Barack in November, as I suspsect will be the case, when you say crap like this unabashedly to the press:
"I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran," Clinton said April 22 in an interview with ABC. "In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them."
Girl, what were you thinking?! Is this really a democrat talking?!
"I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran," Clinton said April 22 in an interview with ABC. "In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them."
Girl, what were you thinking?! Is this really a democrat talking?!
Friday, May 02, 2008
Election apathy
Well, after being initially all fired up about Hillary and put off by Obama, I am now pretty much disgusted with both of them. This primary delegate crap has gone on too long, and while I'm still halfheartedly rooting for Hillary to win the candidacy, I pretty much don't care at this point. The fact that this has been drawn out so long does not serve the party well in the least, and as evidenced by the tight race for the ticket, there are going to be a slew of pissed off Democrats who wanted someone else no matter who wins.
Unless there's a combined ticket with both of their names on it. I don't really see either of them as second fiddle to the other, though many feel Hillary should concede to Obama. Of gender and race, I think unfortunately sexism is the weightier variable in this contest, though being white I certainly am no expert on such commentary.
It's just a big mess. I am preparing myself to be disappointed that Barack will probably win the ticket and I will have to somehow stomach voting for a candidate that I am not enthusiastic about. After Hillary's "enemy fire" video stunt recently, though, it won't be as hard as I initially feared it would be. {sigh}
Unless there's a combined ticket with both of their names on it. I don't really see either of them as second fiddle to the other, though many feel Hillary should concede to Obama. Of gender and race, I think unfortunately sexism is the weightier variable in this contest, though being white I certainly am no expert on such commentary.
It's just a big mess. I am preparing myself to be disappointed that Barack will probably win the ticket and I will have to somehow stomach voting for a candidate that I am not enthusiastic about. After Hillary's "enemy fire" video stunt recently, though, it won't be as hard as I initially feared it would be. {sigh}
Mmmm....rice cereal....
At Benny's 4 month appointment two weeks ago, the doctor told us we could start him on rice cereal.
I was ecstatic.
Not that I don't love breastfeeding, because I do. Especially now that he's bigger - 14 pounds - I've discovered the joy of lying down on the bed and just relaxing, reading as he nurses. (I didn't feel comfortable doing that when he was much smaller, and I never sleep now when he does it.)
Speaking of his size, I'm still working on my defensive mama bear reaction whenever someone comments "Oh, he's so small! So tiny! What is he, just a few months? FOUR months? Wow!" and then proceeds to bloviate about how their child approached the size of a small farm animal at 4 months, was able to leap tall buildings in a single bound at 6 months, and as a toddler is preparing to enter the Olympics next year as a gymnast.
It's annoying.
But like I said, I'm working on it. {**breathes in, breathes out....**}
So back to the cereal. I bought cute little Gerber rubber-headed spoons and small little plastic bowls, and Gerber's DHA enriched rice cereal. We also bought a Bumbo, which is a brilliant invention that helps infants not quite yet able to sit up on their own to do so while also strengthening their muscles to prepare to do it on their own. It's sort of like training wheels for sitting. We also got the tray that attaches to the Bumbo. So it's like a mini high chair. He loves it.
Mind you, while infants are born knowing instinctually how to suck, they do not know how to eat from a spoon. They have to learn. This is a messy process.
Very messy.
Especially since Ben likes to smile constantly, especially when I'm right there in front of him. Which means that instead of chewing or swallowing the stuff, he often just sits there and grins at me as it runs down his face in a puddle of drooly gruel. We saturated enough paper towels the first few times to kill several trees. I'd say that 80% of it ended up on his face.
Now we have about a 50% ingestion rate. I can see him chewing, and I can also see the looks on his face as it registers that he's actually tasting it. He doesn't seem all that thrilled about it. My mom told me that it goes down better if it's warm, so I make sure to nuke it for 10 seconds or so and that does help it go down better. She also taught me the very effective trick of washing it down with a bottle between spoonfuls. This works wonders for getting him to swallow his "gruel", as David likes to call it because a character in Austen's Emma is very fond of gruel. (For those of you just tuning in, David is a bit of an Austen groupie and belongs to several online and real-life communities of Janeites.)
The beauty of this is that I can still breastfeed him, and I plan to for at least the next several months if not for his first year. But I can start to do it less often now. I am no longer his sole source of nourishment, and this is a huge relief. To say nothing of the physical discomfort, which subsided after the first agonizing few months but never really went away entirely, I will be immensely glad to not feel quite as much like a dairy farm.
I was ecstatic.
Not that I don't love breastfeeding, because I do. Especially now that he's bigger - 14 pounds - I've discovered the joy of lying down on the bed and just relaxing, reading as he nurses. (I didn't feel comfortable doing that when he was much smaller, and I never sleep now when he does it.)
Speaking of his size, I'm still working on my defensive mama bear reaction whenever someone comments "Oh, he's so small! So tiny! What is he, just a few months? FOUR months? Wow!" and then proceeds to bloviate about how their child approached the size of a small farm animal at 4 months, was able to leap tall buildings in a single bound at 6 months, and as a toddler is preparing to enter the Olympics next year as a gymnast.
It's annoying.
But like I said, I'm working on it. {**breathes in, breathes out....**}
So back to the cereal. I bought cute little Gerber rubber-headed spoons and small little plastic bowls, and Gerber's DHA enriched rice cereal. We also bought a Bumbo, which is a brilliant invention that helps infants not quite yet able to sit up on their own to do so while also strengthening their muscles to prepare to do it on their own. It's sort of like training wheels for sitting. We also got the tray that attaches to the Bumbo. So it's like a mini high chair. He loves it.
Mind you, while infants are born knowing instinctually how to suck, they do not know how to eat from a spoon. They have to learn. This is a messy process.
Very messy.
Especially since Ben likes to smile constantly, especially when I'm right there in front of him. Which means that instead of chewing or swallowing the stuff, he often just sits there and grins at me as it runs down his face in a puddle of drooly gruel. We saturated enough paper towels the first few times to kill several trees. I'd say that 80% of it ended up on his face.
Now we have about a 50% ingestion rate. I can see him chewing, and I can also see the looks on his face as it registers that he's actually tasting it. He doesn't seem all that thrilled about it. My mom told me that it goes down better if it's warm, so I make sure to nuke it for 10 seconds or so and that does help it go down better. She also taught me the very effective trick of washing it down with a bottle between spoonfuls. This works wonders for getting him to swallow his "gruel", as David likes to call it because a character in Austen's Emma is very fond of gruel. (For those of you just tuning in, David is a bit of an Austen groupie and belongs to several online and real-life communities of Janeites.)
The beauty of this is that I can still breastfeed him, and I plan to for at least the next several months if not for his first year. But I can start to do it less often now. I am no longer his sole source of nourishment, and this is a huge relief. To say nothing of the physical discomfort, which subsided after the first agonizing few months but never really went away entirely, I will be immensely glad to not feel quite as much like a dairy farm.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Benny's first road trip to Ohio!
Last week we left on Wednesday to go to Wooster, Ohio, a small town about an hour and a half southwest of Cleveland, where David's parents live. We had a fabulous time. Mimi (my mother in law) threw an open house style party the next day. Several of our NE Ohio friends and family came to visit, including David's close friends Joan and Marie (former co-worker and college buddy, respectively), my dear friends Karin and Tamara, and a whole slew of Woosterites that hadn't yet met Ben. Jim and Betty Blue drove down from their retirement community in Avon, Ohio. Jim is the brother of Bob Blue, one of my Grandpa Phil and Grandma Ginny's best friends, and Jim and Betty attend the same Unitarian Church in Rocky River that I went to while I was still freelancing in Cleveland years ago, and we've kept in touch. Small, small world! They had a lovely time holding Benjamin and it was such a treat to see them. Ben also got to spend some more quality time with his cousin Sara, who is exactly 4 months older than he is to the day, and had the treat of meeting his third cousin Hayley (daughter of David's 2nd cousin, Jenn Schlumbohm) at the open house.
From there we left for Columbus, Ohio, where we stayed with my brother Phil and his wife Julie. They have an 8 month old, Elise Madeline Hamlin, whom we had never met, and they hadn't yet met Ben. It was such a fun time! I took some pretty hysterical video of Elise's reaction to seeing Ben for the first time, and I'll try to upload that soon.
The last leg of our trip was Cincinnati, where my parents and sister's family live within a few blocks of eachother. We had a ball! My dad let me play two movements from the first cello suite that I had been working on, which was fun, and our niece Jenna had a lot of fun with her new little cousin. I got to see Kim and her new little one Julia, who's 6 weeks younger than Benny, and you should have seen him babble at her! Also got to see my parents' friend Jane, who is one of Benny's many honorary aunties. It was a lot of fun.
What a bountiful and loving extended family our little guy has already! Lots more to write - I'm majorly blogstipated, since I haven't written in ages - but it'll have to come in shorter spurts since I don't have long blocks of time to write anymore!
From there we left for Columbus, Ohio, where we stayed with my brother Phil and his wife Julie. They have an 8 month old, Elise Madeline Hamlin, whom we had never met, and they hadn't yet met Ben. It was such a fun time! I took some pretty hysterical video of Elise's reaction to seeing Ben for the first time, and I'll try to upload that soon.
The last leg of our trip was Cincinnati, where my parents and sister's family live within a few blocks of eachother. We had a ball! My dad let me play two movements from the first cello suite that I had been working on, which was fun, and our niece Jenna had a lot of fun with her new little cousin. I got to see Kim and her new little one Julia, who's 6 weeks younger than Benny, and you should have seen him babble at her! Also got to see my parents' friend Jane, who is one of Benny's many honorary aunties. It was a lot of fun.
What a bountiful and loving extended family our little guy has already! Lots more to write - I'm majorly blogstipated, since I haven't written in ages - but it'll have to come in shorter spurts since I don't have long blocks of time to write anymore!
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